Closing Chapters

 I'm so glad you stopped by! I walked with my friend Laurie earlier this week, and we talked non stop for six miles. Since then I've contemplated so many things we discussed. One of the topics was change and closing chapters. Some chapters are easier to close than others. What determines the level of difficulty in closing a chapter in your life? Fear? Emotional investment? Closing chapters has been on my mind.

Closing Chapters reminded me of a great story that will forever be deeply planted in my heart. Ten years ago I asked my husband if we could send two of our girls to Camp Desoto. I had been a counselor there and knew if I ever had girls I wanted them to experience life at Desoto. After he had looked at all the information, Eddie agreed camp would be amazing but he did not have the money to send them. Not willing to let the idea go, I asked if I could come up with the money could they go? He said yes, but being the practical one in the marriage, he did feel the need to point out the obvious .First, I did not have a job that actually produced income. Secondly, I had only about six months to come up with the money. Thirdly, he made it clear he had no extra money for camp. I admit that most people would see those points as obstacles, but I saw them as motivation.

How I raised money is another blog for another day. What you need to know is that the money for camp was due May 1st and it was May 2nd and I only had half the money. I got my "jar" out from under the bed and counted it over and over like it was going to magically multiply. It didn't. The worst part was that I'd been talking to the girls about camp for six months and I could not tell them that they could not go. There was no way I could call Eddie, so like any girl, I called my mama in tears. She actually asked me if I had taken it to the Lord. She encouraged me to get on my knees and pour my heart out before the Lord. She obviously did not catch the part that I needed a lot of money yesterday! So, I called my daddy. His advice was to keep the girls home, that would be more fun anyway. Needless to say, I was a mess and I was out of time, and in my mind I was out of options.

With nothing left, I decided to get on my knees before the Lord. Tearfully I told God I needed money, I needed the girls to go to camp, I needed Him to do this, I needed Him to do that, I... I.... I...and before I was finished praying, God sweetly reminded me that it was really not about me. He turned my tears and my selfishness into sweet worship and praise. Honoring God and my husband was my joy! Camp could wait!

Though my heart was sad about camp, I knew waiting was the right thing to do.  I could hardly wait for Eddie to get home from work so I could tell him about my crazy, emotional, fabulous day. I also needed to confess to him my pride and my selfishness. He had barely made it through the door when I told him Camp money was due the day before and I didn't have it. I wish you could have seen his face. (I am weepy now just thinking about it) His eyes were so gentle, and his smile was so warm. I will never forget his response. He so  sweetly said "I know. I was wondering how long it was going to take you to come to me." Y'all he paid for camp in full and never mentioned it again.

Do I even need to draw that parallel for you?! Why do we run in every direction exhausting every possible solution, seeking nineteen people's advice only to come up short, when we have unlimited access to God Almighty?! He runs after us with His arms wide open! Just STOP! Turn around! Let Him wrap you up in His immeasurable love and indescribable grace and whisper "I know." Why would we ever go anywhere else?!

This was my girls last summer to camp at Desoto! I had to close that chapter this year, but I will continue to gain sweet blessings from camp for the rest of my life!                           love love love Ruthie