Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Boys Will Be Boys


My Boys

Just recently I have had many conversations with friends about raising boys. I was born into a house full of girls so when God blessed me with 2 boys, I'll be honest. I had no idea what to do. But I will say every single day is filled with surprise and adventure, lots of laughter and always love!  Anyway here are some of my thoughts from recent conversations.

I vividly remember being on a small school playground with my children and some of my friends and their children. Two of the boys with us were about 5 yrs old and their idea of enjoying the playground was wrestling each other to the ground again and again and again. I never even saw their faces because for the next 2 hrs. they were pushing, tugging, kneeing, squeezing, pulling...coming up for air every now and then crying or tattling and moms would say "Be sweet" "Play nice" "You asked for that" "Would you rather go Home?" I know my mouth was wide open as one of the moms got eye contact with me and smiled and said "Boys will be boys."

In elementary school teachers hope they have a room full of girls because boys can't sit still or follow directions.What do the moms say? "Boys will be boys."

In Jr. high school boys make gross noises and are unable to communicate. So all my friends with boys call girl moms to find out "the scoop" because "You know boys, they never tell you anything!"

Then when they reach High School they have wheels and are no where to be found. Then they graduate and we cry because our baby boys are gone......Are you kidding me?

This is where my friends think I am crazy. But I am not buying "Boys will be boys" when their behavior is unacceptable. Yes boys are tough and build forts wear blankets for capes. They love action and adventure. They like big trucks and sirens, They take things apart and sometimes even put them back together. They like bugs And frogs and dirt. The list goes on ......What is my point? Well, Boys don't outgrow that behavior excused by the phrase "Boys will be boys." They don't. They grow up to be big boys with yukky habits. I don't want that! My desire for my boys is that they grow up to be mighty men of God and to love others more than they love themselves. And to one day be some precious girl's knight in shining armor.

OK, it takes work. I get it. But it can be done. Don't get sucked into "Boys will be boys." Don't close your eyes and hope for the best! Train your son's heart to be thankful. Train his heart to put others first. Train his heart to love his brothers and sisters. Train him to stand when you sit at the table because he loves you. Train him to open the door for you because he respects you and cares for you. Train him to communicate. Train his heart! And most importantly, train him to love God with all his heart and to love His word.

Y'all we don't have long with our boys. We aren't even guaranteed tomorrow. Wrap your arms around your son today and tell him you love him big! Don't waste a minute! Train his heart!

Love love love Ruthie


  1. Ruthie,
    What wonderful words. I feel like I could ditto everything you said. God blessed me with one son, Dixon. He is so precious and dear to me. Life hasn't always been easy for my family, and my children have endured a lot, but by the Grace of God, somehow they are grounded with the love and respect that you talked about, especially Dixon.

    I had the pleasure of meeting Fox this weekend at Desoto. I recognized him from your photos, and I told him that I was one of the ladies that wrote on his blog. What an adorable young man! Too bad, he and Gwynn don't live in the same town!

  2. Ruthie you rock in every way! I love you and your words! I ALWAYS learn from you. LY Julie Reynolds

  3. I am right with you, Ruthie, and have been 'on that page' since my first boy was born - 32 years ago! I admit it sometimes put my boys at a disadvantage when the big group of boys were doing stuff, say, to a weaker kid, and my boys would think "Why are they acting like that? He didn't do anything to them?" To the point of being excluded and mocked by the tougher guys. But I always have been proud of their behavior and their attitudes. Both boys are thoughtful, generous, funny 6 foot 3 inch men, and we NEVER allowed the 'boys will be boys' attitude in our house! Not that we were/are perfect - God knows we are not! But I so often had to break up fights of visiting boys, or stop them from taunting or mistreating our pets... when I would tell their moms, that was the response I got.
    So I'm with you girl... and you'll always be happy with the way your guys turn out! Blessings to you and yours!

  4. Love your post Ruthie!
    My boys (and only children) are now 19 and 22, both well over 6 foot, and live together in Gainesville - home of Univ of Fla. They are not setting records or curing diseases. Although they both have ridiculously high i.q.'s, they have not excelled academically, although they are both still taking college classes. However, they are kind, courteous, respectful, fun-loving, loyal, and have awesome worth ethics. They, like Kelley's sons, did not start fights, end fights, or get involved in them. They have been raised to "stop and smell the roses" and to treat people the way they would want to be treated. They enjoy little things - peaceful things in life. I am certainly not in the running for Mother of the Year, but I could not be prouder of them. It appears to me that the similar ways we have tried to raise our children is yet another commonality of us artists.