Boys Will Be Boys

Boys

My Boys

Just recently I have had many conversations with friends about raising boys. I was born into a house full of girls so when God blessed me with 2 boys, I'll be honest. I had no idea what to do. But I will say every single day is filled with surprise and adventure, lots of laughter and always love!  Anyway here are some of my thoughts from recent conversations.

I vividly remember being on a small school playground with my children and some of my friends and their children. Two of the boys with us were about 5 yrs old and their idea of enjoying the playground was wrestling each other to the ground again and again and again. I never even saw their faces because for the next 2 hrs. they were pushing, tugging, kneeing, squeezing, pulling...coming up for air every now and then crying or tattling and moms would say "Be sweet" "Play nice" "You asked for that" "Would you rather go Home?" I know my mouth was wide open as one of the moms got eye contact with me and smiled and said "Boys will be boys."

In elementary school teachers hope they have a room full of girls because boys can't sit still or follow directions.What do the moms say? "Boys will be boys."

In Jr. high school boys make gross noises and are unable to communicate. So all my friends with boys call girl moms to find out "the scoop" because "You know boys, they never tell you anything!"

Then when they reach High School they have wheels and are no where to be found. Then they graduate and we cry because our baby boys are gone......Are you kidding me?

This is where my friends think I am crazy. But I am not buying "Boys will be boys" when their behavior is unacceptable. Yes boys are tough and build forts wear blankets for capes. They love action and adventure. They like big trucks and sirens, They take things apart and sometimes even put them back together. They like bugs And frogs and dirt. The list goes on ......What is my point? Well, Boys don't outgrow that behavior excused by the phrase "Boys will be boys." They don't. They grow up to be big boys with yukky habits. I don't want that! My desire for my boys is that they grow up to be mighty men of God and to love others more than they love themselves. And to one day be some precious girl's knight in shining armor.

OK, it takes work. I get it. But it can be done. Don't get sucked into "Boys will be boys." Don't close your eyes and hope for the best! Train your son's heart to be thankful. Train his heart to put others first. Train his heart to love his brothers and sisters. Train him to stand when you sit at the table because he loves you. Train him to open the door for you because he respects you and cares for you. Train him to communicate. Train his heart! And most importantly, train him to love God with all his heart and to love His word.

Y'all we don't have long with our boys. We aren't even guaranteed tomorrow. Wrap your arms around your son today and tell him you love him big! Don't waste a minute! Train his heart!

Love love love Ruthie

Good Thing

Sail Away
Oil on gallery wrapped canvas
For sale at
Blue Giraffe
Watercolor, Florida
850-231-5221
Sold

So glad you came by! Summer is such a crazy time I never know when I might find a moment to blog so I am glad you're here!

I have decided that complaining is like a bad cold, it's contagious and makes you feel down and yukky.(Is that even a word? Anyway you know what I mean.) You only have to be in a group one time  to hear one person say one negative thing and within seconds everyone in the group has caught the "cold" and is chiming in with a negative comment or story. Just a couple of days ago I was in the gym when I heard a group of women complaining about how hot it is in Alabama and how the grass was brown, the flowers were dying, and the water bill was through the roof. Would you believe not an hour later the bottom dropped out and we had more rain than we knew what to do with and those cute little ladies that complained about too much sunshine were now complaining about getting to their cars in the rain and what it was going to do to their hair.

Complaining really is like a bad cold. It's easy to catch and literally makes you feel miserable.   When my children were little I remember picking my oldest up from school on friday. I love fridays (it's my favorite day of the week.) I had my other four children in the car and Mary Cam (who was six at the time) got in the car with big tears in her eyes. With a brave little face she said one of her friends was having a birthday party that day and she was not invited. Now to some of you that may seem small and insignificant, but to this mama bear, i was ferociously looking for that 'birthday girl" to give her a piece of my mind. However the "carpool line" waits for no one and I was forced to keep moving. As I looked at my sweet baby in my rear view mirror, tears now falling on those precious cheeks I had two options. We could all be sad and complain about not being invited or we could choose to find the good in the situation.

I chose option B and said "okay y'all we need to look for the blessing in this and almost immediately my five year old said "If Mary Cam was gone at the party I would miss her." The other three caught the vision and added sweet things. I called my mom who lived near the school and said get out all your ice cream we're coming for sundaes!  Since "MiMi s" always have ice cream we sat around her island and ate too much, laughed out loud and enjoyed the blessing of just being together. I still get weepy when I think of that day. That day was the start of us learning to look for the good in a situation that did not always go our way.

I realize that life's "rainy days" are sometimes a little bigger than not being invited to a party. And I get that complaining is much easier. But at the end of the day it's that encouraging word or thoughtful smile that inspires us to press forward. So my challenge today is to look for the blessing whatever your day may hold. I admit it's not always easy, but like anything, the more you do it the easier it gets.    Wherever you plant a thankful heart it produces joy every time! I promise!

Rejoice always. In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1Thess.5:16,18

Thanks for stopping by! I loved visiting with you. Please share with me a time when you were thankful on a rainy day! I love hearing from you! love love love Ruthie

The Big Pool

Beach Baby
Oil on gallery wrapped canvas
For sale at
Blue Giraffe
Watercolor, Florida
850-231-5221
Sold

I was at the pool today swimming with four of our five children, and it was so much fun! I am at the stage where we just float and talk. I know I am blessed that my teenagers want  to float with me in the pool! (That is another blog for another day) Anyway, this adorable little thing waddles past us wearing a precious ruffled bathing suit and a water logged diaper with the biggest slushy smile you have ever seen. One of my babies said"Mom, do you wish you had one of those?" I laughed and responded with a huge "YES!"as my heart was immediately flooded with vivid memories of our children in floaties and goggles eating or "wearing" fruit popsicles in the 5 dollar, blue, plastic pool in the back yard. Truly priceless!
My oldest daughter and I were talking about this today. We were saying Sometimes we sit in our 5 dollar pools and find ourselves afraid to venture out of the back yard. Why? Maybe fear of losing what is familiar. Maybe fear of change. Maybe fear of failure. Maybe fear of disappointment . Maybe that good old fear of the unknown. What is it that keeps us holding on to yesterday? If I held too tightly to the blue plastic pool then I would miss out on the joy of floating with my teenagers in the huge pool with fountains , slides , and a snack bar that serves slushies and grilled chicken salad. It seems like my nest is changing every day. I have definitely collected some amazing memories...lots of string and pine straw. And everyday we are adding new string and new pine straw, and it's good! Floating was good today.
I am so glad you stopped by again today! Leave me your favorite pool time memory. I love hearing from y'all!!!!!! love love love Ruthie

30A

Western Lake
Oil on gallery wrapped canvas
On sale at the
Blue Giraffe
Watercolor, Florida
850-231-5112

I am home from the beach, come on in and sit a while! Though I am home in body my mind can be found traveling down my favorite road known as 30A. To those of you who have traveled 30A you know what a magical place it is. To those who have not ventured down 30A, it is a road that connects several unique beach communities that inspire you to dream and discover life to the fullest. It is the road that leads you home and beckons you back the minute you leave. This painting is a very familiar site on 30A. It is Western Lake located between Watercolor and Grayton beach communities. I love this painting. When I look at those big tall pines I find it amazing that they still stand so big and strong. They have weathered so many storms. What you can't see is on the other side of those trees is the ocean. And as breathtakingly beautiful as it may be, it has a dark side as well. The view comes with a price. The winds, the waves, the hurricanes, the salt air all take their toll on beaches and vegetation. These trees have survived the day in and day out of living on ocean front property, but not without paying a price. Though they stand tall and brave their trunks are thin and their leaves are few.  Like the trees on the beach, we encounter storms of different magnitudes. When we go it alone it takes a toll on our bodies and more times than not, it takes a toll on our hearts. Oh we try to stand big and tall and pretend that we have it all together, but after a while it is obvious that we are tired and unable to travel a hard road alone. The truth is if you have Jesus you don't ever have to do anything alone!       fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.Isaiah 41:10. I Love Love Love that!! Fear Not! why? Because He is with you! He will strengthen you!! He will Help you!! He will uphold you!!!! No matter what your circumstances He's got it! What more could you possibly need?....Nothing. 

Side by Side

Side by Side
12x12
Oil on gallery wrapped canvas
for sale at
Blue Giraffe
Watercolor, Florida
850-231-5112

I am so glad you dropped by. I love getting to share this painting with you. I really love this painting.Not only do I love the dreamy color, but I love that the boats are side by side. When our children were 5 1/2, 4, 2 1/2, and the twins were a couple of months , an older woman in my life challenged me to protect and nurture my relationship with my husband. I remember at the time thinking "you have never been at my house at dinner time." Seriously though I have never forgotten that advice. She said our children would one day be grown and gone from our nest and it would be me and my husband rocking on the porch side by side. I love that thought. Me and my baby side by side! I have seen women before me reach that empty nest stage and absolutely adore rocking on the porch with their man. But I have seen the flip side of that as well. I have seen couples who poured their lives completely into their children and when they reached empty nest they did not know each other any more. I think it so easy to be completely consumed with our children's lives that we loose sight of our marriages. We are doing 100 meetings, carpooling to a million activities, constantly volunteering at school, sports, dance, projects, homework... and our husbands come home from a long day as well and we are physically and emotionally spent and we are doing good just to have something on the table for dinner. We plop on the sofa in front of the TV and call out the last of the spelling words and tuck everybody in bed and wave at our husbands as we head off to bed ourselves. Then we wake just to do it all over again. Hmmmm. Imagine if we really nurtured and protected our marriages. What does that look like? All I know is I don't want to have to reintroduce myself to my man when my babies are all gone. So .... try saying no every once in awhile. I promise it will get done! Volunteer a little less. Maybe drop an activity or two. Slow down. Stay home. Actually cook dinner and complete homework ahead of time. Save and cherish time with your husband. Children love to see their parents together and talking and laughing. That breeds strength and security for them. So really your children will benefit a lot more from us spending time with our husbands than frantically running around stressing over being late to guitar lessons. I love that! When that day comes for you,  will you look at the rocking chair next to you will you wonder who that man is or will you say "Slide that chair a little closer baby!" Slow down and plan something fun this week for you and your husband. Enjoy his company. Remember why you love him! Nurture and protect! Side by side!!!! love love love Ruthe.

Birthday Club

Besties
oil on gallery wrapped canvas
on sale at
Blue Giraffe
Watercolor, Florida
850-231-5112

It has been a while since my last post. I have missed being here and talking with you. I am at the beach, my favorite place in the world! and I am with my family, my favorite company in the world. My husband and I are blessed with five children and God has sweetly provided for me to be able to be at home with them as they are growing up. I love every minute! It is truly the most fun job in the world. Like anything there are tough days, but those days always bring the sweetest rewards. Since our children were tiny we have always done everything as a family. If someone had a sport we all went to cheer. If someone had a performance we all went to watch. We rarely had little friends over because we had each other. In fact my oldest daughter had a friend over in the seventh grade. Her friend thought she was coming to hang out with MaryCam and much to her surprise she got all MaryCam's siblings as well. Drop offs at camp and college are always so much fun because we go as family. We are kind of a package deal. But as the years go by and our children are getting older it is getting more difficult to do as  a family. Our second child went off to college this year and I found myself thinking "when she gets home we will do this or that" I realized I had to be a mama to the three at home and not wait for the other two to come home to plan fun family things. It was weird. We actually took our first family vacation this year with one less child. It was tough. But I did so cherish the time with the ones that did go. It was different. I like change. I like adventure. But these changes tug on your heart in a little different way than a new vacation spot or whatever the case may be. My nest is changing. One of my friends is in a "Birthday Club" She eats with this group of girls once a month and celebrates somebody's birthday. I have never done that. My family is my "birthday club"My third oldest came downstairs the other morning and put his big strong arm around me and smiled this most handsome smile and said"Mom, I am  a SENIOR!" Of course, we all oohed and aahed and chanted senior cheers and I held back bursting into tears. My nest is changing everyday. I am excited about the journey and a little hesitant as well. Its a new adventure for  sure. I love love love my birds in my nest. We have so much fun! I am trying to imagine my life with all my birds flying out and about the nest. Making their own adventures. No, not yet. I've still got a little while. I will enjoy each day and not think too hard about tomorrow. So follow me on my way to "empty nest" and we will take this journey together. And if you are ahead of me on this journey, I would so treasure any advice or lessons you've learned along the way!  Love love love Ruthie

It's a Southern Thing

The Taco Bar
8x8
Oil on Canvas Panel
on sale at
Blue Giraffe
Watercolor, Florida
850-231-5112
Sold

Hi! So glad you came by! I just made myself a spinach salad with grilled chicken and strawberries and of course, fabulous croutons. This is a painting of The Taco Bar in Seaside, Fla. So good! You name it and they can put it in a taco! Anyway it got me thinking about everything we say with food. We take food to friends when they are sick, having company, having a baby, having children home from school, funerals , weddings, birthdays....truly the list goes on. The other day one of my best friends brought my family dinner just because! I love that! Is that such a southern thing or what? I was flat on my back the week after easter with some crazy muscle thing. My sweet mama brought me dinner. I laid on my floor on ice for 4 whole days.(For those of you that know me well, know I had to be in some serious pain not to move for that long.) Our home has never been so quiet or felt so empty as I lay on the floor watching the clock tick. Everyone else's life goes on at a lightening speed pace and I lay there longing for my children to get home from school just to hear their footsteps in the house. At dinner time I was sad not to be in the middle of dinner conversation. I felt helpless and and of course a little guilty as my family cooked and cleaned and served me on the floor. That night as I lay their with tears in my eyes the Lord sweetly reminded me of one of my best friends who struggles with unbelievable back and head pain every day. I thanked Him for allowing me to get even a tiny glimpse into her life. She is an amazing girl. In her pain she encourages me. She told me the other day that you have to find joy in the pain. As much as I hurt that day, I would be better in a week. Today my friend battles everyday to overcome her pain. Some days she wins other days she struggles to get past the starting line, but she is never beaten. She is a Joy in my life! My desire is to be a joy in hers. Take some food to someone this week...just because!!!

Thanks for stopping by! My door is always open. love love love Ruthie